From: An Expatriates Guide to The Netherlands
(so the statements aren't ours)

The Name

The country is named 'Nederland', translated in English as "The Netherlands". Holland is comprised of two regions, North Holland and South Holland. So referring to The Netherlands as "Holland" is like referring to Britain as England or Belgium as Flanders. Except the Dutch are likely to forgive you the error.

The Language

The French speak French, and the Germans speak German. Italians speak Italian, Spanish people speak Spanish. You can't say Netherlanders speak Nederlandish. The people are the Dutch, and the language is Dutch. Remember this. Almost all Dutch can speak English and willingly do so. After English, German is the most commonly spoken language.

The Landscape

Very, very flat. Much of the Netherlands is reclaimed land and is below sea level. The Dutch are inordinately proud about this. They have a saying: "God created the world in seven days, and the Dutch created the Netherlands.". This gives the Belgians an easy opportunity for some wit about God not bothering etc.

Everything in the Netherlands looks well laid out and carefully planned, at least compared to Belgium. Some say this makes it boring. The Dutch Mountaineering Club have to go abroad. There are substantial areas of green land, with pretty forests. Also common are lakes on which all types of water sport can be enjoyed.

The Netherlands' longest straight-line distance is about 400km. It is not a large country, but as it has 16 million inhabitants it is the third most densely populated country in the world. It has borders with Belgium to the south, and Germany to the east. The west and north west is coastline. Most of the population lives in the 'Randstad', a conurbation of major and minor cities spreading along the west coast from Amsterdam to Rotterdam.

Some quick pointers...

• The Dutch speak better English than some English do.

• They are very direct. Depending on your point of view, this is rude, tactless or refreshing.

• Ajax is not a toilet cleaner, it is a religion based on a football team. No jokes.

• Rain is a rarity. They stop work and gather at the window to gaze in awe at the raindrops.

• The Dutch body requires the usual oxygen, food and water to function. It also requires a steady input of coffee.

• >Dutch people are born with special voiceboxes enabling them to pronounce words of 30 characters and no vowels

• It's not true they have no sense of humour :-)

• They are very neighbourly people, especially to Germans, Belgians and Moroccans.

• Cyclists rule.

The Dutch and Europe

The Dutch are definitely pro-Europe. They are not as nationalistic as the British or French, but they don't write off their own country at every opportunity like the Belgians. They don't have an overly high regard for their own language, culture or history and prefer instead to look towards the future. I think that the Netherlands is secretly planning to be the business leader of Europe BV.

Pet Hates

Germans who speak German to them while on holiday at their seaside. Disrupting a Dutch routine day won't win you any friends either. Belgians aren't hated, more regarded as an amusing little country full of muddleheaded peasants sorely lacking in prized Dutch virutes such as logic, intelligence and the ability to reason. For all their open mindedness and tolerance, where Belgium is concerned the Dutch actually know very little and what they profess to know is, for the most part, based on anecdotal evidence, old jokes, general presumptions - and is completely wrong. The Belgians for their part view the Dutch as untenably arrogant, impossibly mean, boring, opinionated, narrowminded and lacking in many prized Belgian qualities not least of which is "Knowing How to Enjoy Life".

Roads

Crossing the border from Belgium is a relief. In the Netherlands, the roads are well laid out, with clear markings and signposts. Regrettably, there are some fast-lane filters. Almost every place in the Netherlands is accessible by road. Driving in the Netherlands is generally safe, but beware - the cyclist is king. If you've ever driven in Rome, London, Brussels etc. you'll find cruising Dutch highways to be a very easy and relaxing affair.

Dutch Drivers

Dutch drivers are also slow compared to most. People actually keep within 5% or so of speed limits. I can also say that after many, many thousands of kilometers driven across the Benelux that I've yet to see a display of aggression or very poor driving from a Dutch driver.

 

Bicycles

Everywhere. Aside from having absolute priority everywhere on the roads, they also make drinking nights a hazard. English visitors have "do not fall into the road otherwise it hurts" deeply ingrained into their subconcious, so even when drunk (again) the life preservation instinct kicks in. In the Netherlands, even that is not safe. Immediately you step outside a cafe you run the risk of colliding with a high speed cyclist.

Curtains

My two suggestions for businesses NOT to invest in are ;

• Belgian Seatbelts NV

• Dutch Curtains BV

The Dutch just don't seem to bother with curtains. Why I don't know. Maybe its part of this desire to be direct and upfront with everything and nothing to hide. Having said that, most Dutch keep a small rainforest immediately in front of their window to hide the inside from onlookers.

Sex, Porn, Drugs

The Dutch are widely viewed by the world (certainly the UK) as a nation of sex-crazed liberals who snort drugs with their morning coffee while recovering from the night's sexual-deviant orgy. How I wish it were true. So far nobody has offered me any porn, sex or drugs, but I live in hope. I think this misguided attitude stems from that most famous of Dutch attributes, the open mind, free thinking and spirit of good business and fair play (except where Germans, Moroccans and Belgians are concerned).

Because the Dutch really are open minded about such issues as homosexuality, drugs and porn it is not regarded as anything special. Unlike the English, who late in the 1990s are still shaking off Victorian prejudices towards anything other than the missonary position between married couples (one of either sex, naturally), the Dutch believe in letting people do pretty much what they want as long as it is reasonably gezellig. This term doesn't have a direct English translation because the English are simply not gezellig people. For the same reason we don't have a word for "lekker" because we don't need one. Anyway, gezellig means, roughly, a warm, cosy, homely feeling that you are doing the right thing by contributing to the wellbeing of one and all.

 

So the open minded Dutch tolerate all sorts of behaviour, and this actually works very well. As issues which other countries seek to avoid by pretending they don't exist are out in the open, everybody accepts them as normal and carries on with life. You know as well as I do that if you make a fuss of something, or try and ban it, everybody will be interested. I think a few other countries would do well do take a look at the Netherlands.

 

Cars

Never have I seen a country with so few sports cars. Everyone seems to favour a sedate sedan rather than hot hatch. I think this is a reflection of the Dutch desire not to show of wealth too obviously, and maybe further simple practicality - why bother spending extra money when a cheaper car can be bought that does the job just as well ?

The Famous Economy with Money

Are the Dutch tightfisted, stingy people who make Scotsmen look like lotter-winner churchgoers with a guity concisence? Is there any truth behind the rumour?

Personally I would say it is true that Dutch people spend less, and when they do spend it is on more practical items than extravagant decorations and status symbols. This is what I think has given rise to the "Dutch people are mean" stereotype. They are not mean. They'd never hesitate to buy their round, chip in the cost of a shared purchase or offer a gift. All those are examples of what being mean ah.... means. But, given a chance to practically economise, they will. For example, for every 15 litres of petrol I put in my car I get one AirMile. I mentioned, jokingly, to a Dutch friend that I should try and put 15.1 or 30.1 litres in every time, even if I could take more. "Now you're thinking like a true Dutchman!" approved my friend.

 

See what I mean ? It's not meaness as such, it is just a desire to economise because it is sensible and practical. Like two other friends who were seriously considering taking a jerrycan or two full of petrol with them when they visited Berlin, because they have company cars with free petrol cards valid only in the Netherlands.

Other countries, notably Britain, either wouldn't think of such measures (and therefore become a little jealous when they see the Dutch saving money, and are too proud to follow) or there would be a kind of social stigma attached to actions such as the precise filling of one's petrol tank in order to maximise AirMiles collections.

Is this attitude good or bad ? I don't think it's fair to say either way. It's a personal opinion, choosing between a solid, practical, reliable people who treat you as you are, or perhaps opting for a showier, more extravagant country which is not as fair or as practical, but looks better and is noisier. I should mention at this point that the company I worked for in the Netherlands gave its staff a most generous Christmas present. Wine, quality glasses, shopping vouchers, restaurant vouchers....a package worth about 300UKP. Hardly stingy !

 

Emotion

Extremes of emotion are not something the Dutch are given to. Unlike the English, who consider letting one's feeling known to be some sort of social gaffe, or the French who consider not becoming properly incensed on occasion to be extremely strange, I think the Dutch tend more to moderation, as usual. As a race, they just don't become very angry, sad or extremes of anything. At least relative to their neighbours. It's probably the famous tolerance plays a part here. The only time the Dutch people show their emotion is when the Dutch soccerteam is playing an important match. Every street and every person is then made orange. 

Computers

The Dutch have considerable talent with computers. Considering its small size, the Netherlands produces a large number of well-known Internet personalities. The quality of Dutch websites is very high. Maybe this is because computing appeals to the logical, practical Dutch and of course their facility with the English language is a great aid.